


A Missing Piece

by PossiblyAwesomeAO3



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Background Demus - Freeform, College AU, Food mention, Hurt/Comfort, Lamp - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Panic Attack, Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2020, Secret Santa, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Swearing, background remile, sike yes he does, virgil has soulmates and doesn't want them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28319013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PossiblyAwesomeAO3/pseuds/PossiblyAwesomeAO3
Summary: Virgil did not want marks.The universe is not a good listener.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 118





	A Missing Piece

Forget death and taxes. Two other complete certainties in Virgil’s life popped up way more often and felt a lot more pressing. 

The first was that he absolutely, definitely, in every way, shape, and form, did  _ not _ want a soulmate. 

Soulmates were terrifying. The idea that some unnamed, unknowable force in the universe just woke you up one day with a little symbol somewhere on your body, and said that a person who touched you right there the first time they ever laid a hand on you would be the person you belonged with for the rest of your life sent chills down Virgil’s spine. What did the universe care about insignificant tiny mortals like them? What did the universe know about love at all?

Apparently, nothing, and Virgil had the proof in the living room every single night, as his mother slammed her bedroom door behind her and his father was left to sleep on the couch. The screaming matches they would get into would sometimes be so loud that Virgil could hear them through walls and headphones, and after nearly ten years of listening to that, the matching marks on his father’s wrist and his mother’s palm didn’t seem to mean all that much anymore. 

Not only that, but the way people changed when marks appeared on their skin made Virgil feel nauseous. He saw it happen with his best friend in tenth grade -- a little pink mark shaped like a bowtie had appeared on his cheek, and all of a sudden Remy wanted to talk about nothing but the boy with pink hair who sat three lunch tables over and had a black coffee cup on the back of his hand. The same boy that Remy hadn’t looked at before, hadn’t cared about, hadn’t even known his name. 

Virgil hadn’t liked one second of that. Sure, Remy and Emile were kind of sweet together, and Virgil was glad that his friend was happy, but it felt more like nothing would have ever happened if those stupid marks hadn’t appeared. Remy probably would’ve never even figured out Emile’s name, or wanted to know it. That little mark had changed everything, and Virgil didn’t like it. 

If he was going to fall in love with someone, he didn’t want to do it just because the universe wanted him to. He wanted to do it by himself, not just check every time he touched someone if a little purple cloud that matched the one on his ankle was there. The universe didn’t know what the hell it was doing. 

Markless people existed. There were plenty of them. Virgil just constantly prayed he was one of them. And by the time his fifteenth, sixteenth, seventeenth birthday passed with his skin staying as blank as it always had been, Virgil could feel the weight lifting off his chest. 

And the second certainty in Virgil’s life was that the universe was totally and completely out to get him. 

That became a certainty when he woke up three days after his eighteenth birthday with a weird tingling sensation in his hand, his shoulder, and the middle of his back. 

He didn’t know what it was immediately, but when he shifted to look at the palm of his right hand and found a little dark blue blob that looked kind of like a brain there, panic shot through his veins and he was in front of the bathroom mirror so fast it almost felt like he’d teleported. There. A little red shield-looking symbol on his shoulder, and when he strained to look at his back in the mirror, he could just barely make out a little light-blue heart in the small of his back. 

His mother had always said he was a late bloomer. 

***

  
Virgil tugged at the hem of his leather gloves, his stomach in knots as he sat awkwardly on the bed in his new dorm room. He stared across the room at the empty side, his heart pounding so loud he was surprised it didn’t burst straight out of his chest. It wasn’t anything. Just a cinderblock wall, a bed frame with one naked mattress on it, and a desk with a matching chair that both looked like they were made in Virgil’s workshop class in high school. It was a completely blank canvas, and it made Virgil’s chest tighten. 

He wasn’t sure if it would have been better if he’d gotten there first. Sure, he would have walked in and seen the mystery person he was stuck sharing a room with for the year, seen their belongings, their bedspread, their expression when they walked in, and immediately known something. But then they would’ve had to sit there and watch him unpack his stuff, watch him tape his MCR posters to the wall, see what he hid away in drawers. 

Virgil gave up on messing with the hem of his gloves, and instead, started rubbing his thumb over the palm of his hand, right where he knew one of his soulmarks was, hidden underneath the leather. 

No one knew. Not even his parents. It wasn’t like the marks themselves were very difficult to hide, which was pretty much the only saving grace Virgil had gotten out of the whole thing. Gloves and sleeves hid the brain and the shield, and it wasn’t like he was going to let anyone see him with his shirt off ever, so that took care of the heart on his back. He kept them covered at almost all times, and as time had gone past, people asked less and less, and simply assumed he was one of the poor, lost, markless people who would never know who they belonged with. That suited Virgil just fine. 

Aside from the pity stares. Those he could do without. 

The sound of a key fitting into a lock made Virgil’s head snap up, and panic suddenly injected itself into his veins. What was he doing, just sitting there and staring at his hand? This guy was going to think he was a total creep, sitting like that in a completely silent room -- 

Virgil practically launched himself off of the bed, and his hands clasped around the first book he could get his hands on. Right as the door opened, Virgil had it opened and his nose stuck in it and hoped to god he looked somewhat natural. 

“Ah. Seems I’ve been beaten to the punch, then.” 

Virgil looked up and felt his heart stutter over at least four beats as he locked eyes with the most intense pair of eyes he’d ever seen. It was a bit hard to tell their exact color from the slight distance and the fact that they were obscured by a pair of thin lenses, but the color wasn’t what was catching Virgil completely off guard. Instead, it was the way the stare felt. The boy’s eyes were analytical, to the point where Virgil felt as though he was being assessed from the moment the boy caught sight of him. It felt as if the boy would be able to see straight through Virgil, to see the marks etched into his skin through the leather and the polyester that kept them safely tucked away. Normally, a feeling like that would make Virgil want to run for the hills. 

So why did he feel rooted to the spot?

“Hello?” 

Virgil jumped slightly when the boy spoke again. “Oh, uh...hi. I’m Virgil Hughes.” 

“Virgil?” The boy asked, and an interested kind of half-smile came over his face. When he smiled, the intensity in the rest of his face softened, but the eyes didn’t change a bit. “Like the poet?” 

“I guess.” Virgil shrugged. “I haven’t really looked into it.” 

“You should. It’s fascinating work.” The boy said and started to pull in the cart that held a couple of suitcases and some other boxes. “You’ve never been curious about a namesake like that?” 

“Mostly just cursed my mom for it,” Virgil said, and inwardly cringed. God, why was he talking, stop talking, you’ve known the guy for ten seconds, it’s not the time to delve into parental problems. “Can’t, uh…can’t ever find it on those stupid keychains.” 

“No, I suppose not.” The boy said, a hint of amusement in his voice. He’d managed to get his cart full of stuff further into the room, and as he let go of the handle, he turned to face Virgil and held his hand out towards him. “Logan Hall. I’ll be your roommate this year.” 

He felt much taller when he was standing in front of Virgil like that, even though he probably only had a couple of inches on Virgil. Virgil glanced up at him, then back down at his hand, and in that split second, he saw it. 

A little purple cloud, right on the inside of his palm. 

Virgil thought he knew what it was like to feel paralyzed by fear. He’d done it plenty of times before getting through things like school presentations, or that time where he thought someone had caught sight of his soulmark when he was washing his hands, but both of those were child’s play compared to this. The cloud was sitting right where Virgil’s hand would meet Logan’s, where their two marks would perfectly overlap and confirm Virgil’s worst fears. 

He was stupid to think that covering up his hand would just make his soulmate disappear right alongside it. Out of sight, out of mind--

“Virgil?” 

Virgil snapped out of it to realize that he’d been blankly staring at Logan’s mark for a good twenty seconds. Logan was staring at him with a raised eyebrow and glanced between Virgil’s eyes and the palm of his hand. 

“Something wrong?” 

“Nope, no, nothing’s wrong.” Virgil tripped over the words, and his hand felt three steps ahead of his brain as he shot forward to awkwardly shake Logan’s hand. He wanted to avoid the contact forever, but an excuse for why he just openly stared at a soulmark like that for way too long was starting to scramble together in his head, and it wouldn’t hold up nearly as well if he refused to touch him. “Just, uh...your soulmark. I’m markless, so, y’know. Kinda’ cool to see them up close and stuff like that.” 

“Ah,” Logan said, and when he let go of the handshake, Virgil realized with a terrifying pang that he didn’t want Logan to let go. “I apologize, I did just mean to shake your hand, not wave my mark in your face--” 

“Yep, yep, totally get it. You didn’t know, not your fault.” 

Virgil’s face felt like it was on fire. Was it? Was he going to spontaneously combust? Did people who tried ignoring their soulbond when their soulmate was standing a foot away from them spontaneously combust? Was it just the embarrassment? Maybe he was actually dying from the awkwardness, it happened sometimes in the Sims, it could happen in real life. 

Logan turned around to start pulling his suitcases out of the cart, and it felt like Virgil couldn’t take his eyes off him. Despite his terror, a tiny part of him still craved to know what his soulmates looked like, what they were like, who the universe thought was perfect for him, and now, here was one, standing right in front of him. The way he was dressed matched his handshake, a little too formal, and out of place because of it. Sure, the khakis, white dress shirt, and dark blue pullover sweater were normal enough, but Virgil hadn’t met anybody under the age of thirty who wore a necktie when it wasn’t required for some formal event or work. His dark hair didn’t look like it had any sort of gel in it, but it must have because Virgil couldn’t spot a single hair out of place. Even with that, though, when he turned to pull his suitcase onto the bed and Virgil could see those intense eyes again, he could also notice the bags underneath them, and when he looked at his hands, Logan’s nails were bitten down to the stubs. 

Virgil glanced down at his fingers. Huh. They matched. 

“So, uh…” Virgil started. The quiet was starting to get to him, and now that his soulmate was standing right in front of him and some of the shock was fading away and being replaced by a sudden, burning curiosity. “You know who it is?” 

“Hm?” Logan asked, pausing from unpacking the clothes out of his suitcase. They were mostly the same as what he was wearing, simple dress shirts, sweaters, and a couple more ties. 

“Your soulmate,” Virgil asked, and the second the word left his mouth, a smile came over Logan’s face. It wasn’t exactly lovesick -- Virgil couldn’t imagine Logan looking lovesick -- but it was on the edge of it. 

“Well, not this one yet,” Logan said, glancing at his hand. “But the universe saw fit to give me two others, and I’ve had the fortune of meeting them already. They’re going to be going here too, so brief warning. They may be over a lot, and they can both be...well, they’re very talented at making their presence known.” 

Virgil’s panic turned up to an eleven. Oh. Oh, sweet god. All three of his soulmates already knew each other, and they were all going to be going to the same college. Great. Just great. Not only did Virgil have to suddenly be thrown into their circle, but he was also the odd man out from the start. The universe hating him became more and more of a certainty every day. 

“Oh...okay,” Virgil said and hoped that dread wasn’t showing through his voice. “How, uh, how long have you known them?” 

“I’ve known Patton since kindergarten before we even had our marks, and Roman came along in my junior year of high school,” Logan said. He said it like a simple fact, but that little smile on his face was melting the intensity of his eyes for just a moment. 

“Wait, wait. Logan, Patton, and Roman?” Virgil asked, and raised an eyebrow. “You guys--” 

“Yes, yes, we rhyme.” Logan sighed, a mix of exasperation and pure fondness in his words. “Trust me, Patton had gushed over that since the day we got our marks, and only got worse when Roman came along. He claims it’s a true sign that we’re meant to be.” 

“Marks weren’t enough to prove that?” 

“I suppose not.” Logan shrugged and went back to his cart to pull out a second suitcase, one that was significantly bigger than the first one. He pulled on the handle, but the suitcase was either too heavy or had gotten stuck on something else in his cart because it didn’t budge. “Damn it--” 

“Here, I got it,” Virgil said and headed over to grab the other end of the suitcase as best as he could. The weight made his bones ache when he’d barely even lifted it, and he swore as he tried to help. “Fuck, dude, what do you have in here?” 

“Bricks,” Logan said, and with the way he deadpanned it, Virgil could guess that wasn’t the first time he’d heard that question that day. “On three. One, two, three--” 

Virgil gritted his teeth as the two of them managed to lift the suitcase out of the cart, and the second it cleared the cart, neither of them seemed to be willing to give it a graceful descent to the floor. They dropped it at almost the same time, and it fell to the floor with a loud thud that probably startled anyone in the room below theirs. Virgil stretched his arms over his head as Logan started to unzip the suitcase, and he peered over Logan’s shoulders, his curiosity returning. 

At first glance, the suitcase seemed like it was filled with clothes. A couple of pairs of dark jeans and black dress pants lined the top, but as Logan moved them aside, Virgil spotted what was really behind the weight. It was full of books. Stacks and stacks of books, each of them thicker than what Virgil usually got around to reading in a single year. 

“Wow.” He said, and he might have been mistaken, but he could have sworn he saw a hint of pink find its way into Logan’s cheeks. 

“I can never decide which to bring.” He admitted and looked up to meet Virgil’s eyes again. “Thank you for your help.” 

Oh, god. The genuine gratitude behind his voice, the slight smile across his face, and the embarrassed-yet-unapologetic blush across Logan’s cheeks were turning out to be a deadly combination. Virgil wasn’t sure if it was just because of the mark, but his heart felt like it was suddenly being squeezed by a trash compactor, and that weird sensation was something that made his stomach turn into a blender. Virgil was doomed. His new roommate was a pretty boy who also happened to be his soulmate, and Virgil was completely and totally doomed. 

“Yeah, uh...no problem.” 

***

Virgil considered it a partial victory when he’d made it through two days of living with Logan without imploding in on himself or getting caught with a mark showing. 

Logan was easy to live with, all things considered. He was neat, he tended to sit at his desk or on his bed silently reading something or quietly tapping away at his laptop, and he talked just enough that Virgil didn’t feel alone, but he also felt like he could sit at his computer with his headphones in and not be accidentally ignoring anything. If he already spent most of his time reading, Virgil couldn’t imagine what his studying schedule looked like. The start of the semester was approaching fast, and the campus was becoming more and more crowded with each passing move-in day, and Virgil only felt more and more nervous about leaving his room and bumping into more strangers than he ever wanted to deal with in his life. Logan was becoming a familiarity, though. 

It made sense that it would come to an end so fast. 

On the third and final day of move-in, a sudden pounding knock on their door that was loud enough to cut through Virgil’s music made him jolt in his seat. 

“Hey, Specs!” A voice called from the other side of the door, and when Virgil listened closer, he could hear someone else giggling. “Come on, we know you’re in there, open up!” 

Logan sighed, and when Virgil turned to give him a questioning look, he simply mouthed “sorry” at him before he swung his legs over the side of his bed and went to answer the door.   
The pieces that were quickly and frighteningly coming together in Virgil’s mind suddenly slammed into place when Logan opened the door and was immediately knocked backward by the force of a very sudden hug. 

“Hello to you too, Patton.” 

Logan’s attacker looked like what Virgil imagined would happen if a Cabbage Patch Kid finally got the chance to grow up. His face was buried partially in Logan’s shoulder at that moment, but Virgil could see round glasses knocked slightly askew on his face that were a little hidden by his mop of bright blonde curls. He was shorter and a bit pudgier than Logan, but it just added to the overall appearance that Patton likely gave some of the best hugs in the world, and with the bright grin across his face as he pulled away from Logan, he had the personality to match it. Freckles dotted across his pale skin like little stars, and Virgil could swear each one of them sparkled. 

A third person was standing in the doorway, leaning against the entrance and staring down at Logan and Patton with nothing but absolute fondness in his expression. Virgil could feel the blush burning into his face, and was suddenly grateful that all of his attention seemed to be on the other two. He reminded Virgil of every male lead in those old cheesy rom-com movies from the 60s -- well-built, tanned skin, piercing green eyes, caramel-colored hair that was just messy enough that it had to be on purpose. He even had a red letterman jacket on, for Christ’s sake. Virgil had to wonder if this guy had just stumbled across Logan and Patton in high school, or if Logan and Patton had broken onto a movie set and escaped with the latest up-and-coming Hollywood star. That had to be Roman, then. 

“I missed you, I missed you, I missed you!” Patton repeated and planted a sweet kiss on Logan’s cheek every time he said it, like some kind of overly enthusiastic puppy. 

“I think your entrance made that clear,” Logan said, and that same soft smile that Virgil had come to understand was only reserved for Logan’s soulmates was back on his face. “I missed you too, even though it has hardly been a week since I saw you last--” 

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you!” 

“So what am I over here? The third wheel?” Roman asked.

“Never,” Logan said, and managed to get out of Patton’s grasp for ten seconds only to go straight into Roman’s instead. Roman didn’t waste another second before pressing his lips to Logan’s, and even though it was just a quick kiss, it still made Virgil snap his eyes away, choosing instead to stare at the floor. Huh, interesting. He never noticed that one piece of carpet that stuck up a little further than all the others, how long had that been there? 

“I’m certainly not complaining, but maybe starting with PDA isn’t the best way to introduce yourselves in front of my roommate.” Logan’s voice made Virgil look up again, only to spot a now-sheepish-looking Patton, an unapologetic Roman, and a slightly flustered Logan. “This is Virgil Hughes. Virgil, this is Patton and Roman, my soulmates.” 

“Oh, right, sorry about that,” Patton said. He bounced a little on his toes as he waved hello, and Virgil felt that same paralyzing fear as he spotted the purple cloud stamped into Patton’s palm. “It’s nice to meet you, Virgil!” 

“Yeah, uh...same,” Virgil said and did his best to get the words out without puking right alongside them. “Logan’s talked about you.” 

“Of course he has,” Roman said, and smirked in the direction of a now-slightly-pink Logan, who refused to meet his eyes. 

“As if you are any different.” 

“Oh, I’m not, but I’m not afraid to let the world know I’m a sap,” Roman said. “You, on the other hand, are allergic to emotion.” 

“I am  _ not _ .” Logan insisted.

“C’mon, Ro, don’t tease him,” Patton said, and Virgil was suddenly reminded of every sitcom dad he’d ever seen on television. Patton had it down, well, pat. “We just got here.” 

Roman put up his hands in mock surrender, and-- 

Virgil immediately felt sick again. There, on Roman’s palm, almost in the same place Logan’s and Patton’s had been, was a little purple cloud. Virgil tugged at his shirt sleeve and resisted the urge to bolt. 

“Sure, sure, don’t wanna’ make Lo look bad in front of his roommate, I get it,” Roman said, and finally met Virgil’s eyes. “So, be honest with me. How many times has he left the room so far?” 

“Virgil, you do not need to answer that question.” 

“Yeah you do, ‘cause he’ll lie to us about it,” Patton said, a knowing kind of smile on his face. “Please?” 

Virgil wasn’t exactly sure where his answer was going to land him, but he could certainly count. Two against one.

“Uh, I think...I mean, I haven’t exactly been keeping track, but maybe twice? For dinner?” 

Logan’s expression turned into a glare, and Patton and Roman’s eyes immediately turned back to stare at Logan. 

“Come on, Lolo, we talked about this,” Patton said. “You can’t just hide away in your room all the time--” 

“I am not hiding away, I’m  _ busy _ \--” 

“Babe, the semester hasn’t even started yet,” Roman said. “What are you doing?” 

“Getting a head start, what does it matter? Virgil doesn’t leave much either, it is a normal experience.” 

“Why am I getting included in this?” 

“Nope, nope, nope, not standing for this,” Roman said. “We’re going out to the dining hall so you can get out of this room and see some people like a normal person.” 

“I have been to the dining hall--” 

“Great, so you wouldn’t mind going again!” Patton grinned, and Logan opened his mouth to argue, but after a few seconds, shut it again. 

“Ha, victory against the brain!” Roman said and reached out to get an enthusiastic high-five from Patton before he wrapped an arm around Logan’s shoulders. 

“Hardly a victory to get me to go somewhere I have already been.” 

“It still counts, shut up,” Roman said and pressed another quick kiss to Logan’s cheek. “C’mon, Pat, let’s go.” 

“Hey, Virgil?” 

Virgil blinked as Patton spoke to him again. He had always been good about blending into the background and disappearing until someone needed to talk to him, and he’d figured that once they knew what they wanted to about Logan, they’d whisk him away to their weird little soulmate world and leave Virgil alone in the room. 

“...yeah?” 

“Do you want to come with us?” Patton asked, and for a brief moment, Virgil’s stomach jolted up into his throat. 

Did he know? Why else would Patton ask him to come along on something that was clearly a soulmate thing if he didn’t know? How did he know? Did he forget to wear his gloves -- nope, had those. Was his sleeve riding up too far -- no, that was fine. 

“Uh...why?” 

“Yeah, why?” Roman piped up from the doorway. 

“I don’t know, you look like you could use a friend or two, that’s all.” Patton shrugged. “I promise we won’t get into any lovey stuff around you, you just seem kind of lonely, and, y’know, you’re Logan’s roommate, so I’m guessing we’re gonna’ see you around a bit. Might as well be friends, right?” 

Friends. Right. 

“I make no promises on ‘lovey stuff’.” Roman said, and Logan lightly punched him in the arm. “Hey!” 

“Don’t listen to him,” Logan said. “He’s not all PDA and flirting. It does make up 90% of his personality, but there’s something else there.” 

“You say that like it’s not the reason you fell in love with me.” 

“Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night.” 

“So?” Patton asked, and Virgil’s eyes found his again. 

He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to be around the three of them any more than he had to. They were his soulmates, all three of them, and Virgil had done just about everything in his power to make sure people never found out he even had soulmates. Hanging around them, getting to know them, being friends with them...Virgil was setting himself up for heartbreak and a considerable amount of therapy in the future. 

But Patton’s soft smile was so genuine, and Virgil’s heart was skipping over beats so often when he looked at the three of them that he had to wonder if he should go to a hospital or something. Not to mention, he couldn’t hide from them forever. Sure, maybe he’d be able to avoid Patton and Roman pretty well, but even if he managed that, he’d still need to come back to this room, every single night, and find Logan there. 

The universe wasn’t going to make this easy for him either way. 

“Uh...sure. Why not.” Virgil shrugged, and Patton’s smile turned into a grin, and he clapped his hands together. 

“Great!” 

“Alright, guess Snot Topic over here is coming along too, then,” Roman said, and Virgil scowled at him. 

“Snot Topic?” 

“Clever nicknames are one of my many, many skill sets, sunshine. Get used to ‘em.” Roman said and stuck his tongue out at him before he suddenly scooped Logan up in his arms. Logan yelped and threw his arms around Roman’s neck to keep himself steady. 

“Roman, I hate it when you do this, put me down--” 

“Never. To the dining hall!” Roman cheered and went sprinting down the hall. Virgil could hear Logan’s protests echoing down the hall, and Patton giggled, heading towards the doorway to follow. 

Before he left, however, he stopped and turned to look at Virgil. 

“You coming?” 

Yes. Virgil guessed he was. 

***

“So, no soulmark, then?” 

Virgil shook his head, took another bite of his burger, and did his best to ignore the incredulous look on Roman’s face. Ever since the four of them had sat down at the dining hall, it had turned into an interrogation hour, starting with Patton asking where he was from. It was inevitable that the soulmate question came along, and as long as it was over quickly and Virgil stayed as vague as possible, hopefully, that would be enough to get through it. 

“And you’re cool with that?” 

“Not everyone needs a relationship to survive as you do, Roman,” Logan said. 

“I don’t need--” Roman started, but cut himself off. Both Logan and Patton were staring at him with knowing looks on their faces, and Roman sighed. “Okay, fine, so maybe I’m a romantic. Sue me.”

“It’s not really a big deal,” Virgil said and shrugged his shoulders. “Never really been a relationship person anyway. I’ll live.” 

“But is it a life worth  _ living _ ?” Roman asked, and Virgil scowled in his direction. Pretty face or not, maybe it would be better if Virgil tried to avoid being Roman’s soulmate. 

“Stop it, Ro,” Patton said, nudging Roman’s shoulder. “Hey, y’know what having no soulmate means?” 

Virgil raised an eyebrow. 

“More room in your future house for dogs!” Patton grinned. “Or cats! Or maybe...maybe bunnies! Whatever you prefer!” 

“You say that like you’re not planning on filling every living space you ever move into with dogs, regardless of whether or not Roman and I are present,” Logan said, and Virgil couldn’t help but snort a laugh. He’d known Patton for all of a few hours, but that seemed pretty in character. 

“I did say  _ more _ room.” 

“Hey, as long as the tidal wave of pets includes a horse someday, I’ll be down.” Roman shrugged. 

“You like horses?” Virgil asked. He figured he could pin down Roman for several different personalities, obnoxious theater kid holding the top spot, but he wouldn’t have guessed he was a horse guy. 

“I’m kind of half-kidding, but yeah,” Roman said. “Grew up on a ranch. Spent a lot of time around horses and stuff. They take a lot of care though, so probably not the best pet to have when you’re broke and fresh out of college and all that jazz.” 

“A ranch. You.” Virgil said, and Roman pressed his hand to his chest. Virgil was beginning to wonder if being overdramatic was Roman’s natural response to everything. 

“I’m multi-dimensional, thank you very much!” He said. “Just because I don’t walk in here in a cowboy hat and dirty overalls--” 

“Aw, you’d look so cute!” Patton piped up. “I’m totally going to get you a cowboy hat for your birthday, now.” 

“Please, don’t.” 

“No, do it. I’ll handle the overalls.” Logan said. 

“ _ No _ \--” 

“I’ll take the blackmail photos?” Virgil suggested and was immediately fixed by a glare in his direction. Patton, however, giggled. 

“Perfect!” 

“Ugh, fine. If it turns into a photo shoot, I’ll work it.” Roman shrugged and pointed a fork across the table at Virgil. “I expect magazine-level professional photos. That’s my condition.” 

“Sure thing,” Virgil said and tried to ignore the strange warmth in his chest. “I’ll just call Vogue and ask for a few pointers first.” 

“You do that, Mark-less Hamill.” 

***

“Virgilllllll.” 

Any reason to look up from his textbook right now was good enough for Virgil, but Patton was an especially good one. 

He glanced up to see his friend in question lying across the floor of his room, with his head in Logan’s lap. Logan didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest and was using the top of Patton’s head to prop up his book. Roman was sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the closet door with a textbook in his lap that he was completely ignoring in favor of scrolling mindlessly through his phone. 

“Virgil, I’m boredddd.” Patton whined and reached his hands out towards Virgil in a half-heartedly desperate plea. “My boyfriends aren’t paying attention to me, do something.” 

“You’re starting to sound like Roman,” Virgil said, and that earned him an offended noise from the other side of the room. 

“If you’re bored, you ought to work on that presentation for your English class you’ve been complaining about,” Logan suggested. 

“But that’s also boring.” 

“It’s  _ necessary, _ and if you wait until the last minute again, you are going to hate yourself.” 

“There’s better things to do.” Patton shrugged and looked over at Roman. “See, Roman’s not studying, either!” 

“Hey, my book’s open!” Roman said. 

“And you’re texting.” 

“Maybe I’m absorbing the knowledge. You don’t know.” Roman said. “I could be becoming a math genius at this very second.” 

“Sure, princey. I think adding that many brain cells to an empty space out of nowhere might just kill you.” Virgil said, and Roman stuck his tongue out at him.

“I’m passing this class, thank you very much.” 

“Notice he only said passing,” Logan said and glanced up from his textbook with a smirk on his face. 

“You’re lucky I love you, Specs,” Roman said, and another pang shot through Virgil’s heart. 

They’d been becoming more and more frequent, the longer Virgil spent around the three of them. He’d been careful, of course, and he’d made it two months into the year without the others seeing his marks, but that didn’t exactly stop them from being soulmates in the end, as much as Virgil would have liked it to -- at least, he thought he would have liked it to. The more time he spent around them, though, he was beginning to want that less and less. Whenever the three of them went on dates or spent time together as a group without Virgil there, Virgil didn’t feel relieved like he thought he would. Instead, he usually ended up spending the night curled up tightly in bed, watching YouTube videos on his phone and trying to drown out the feeling of longing that never really seemed to go away. 

They weren’t perfect. Not by any means. Logan was a little too sharp around the edges and could get cold when he wanted to be left alone. Patton never wanted to be alone, and when Virgil was tired, his sunshiney disposition usually felt more tone-deaf than anything else. Roman was a world unto himself, and would often forget that sometimes his playful insults leaned more heavily into insults than playful. 

But Logan was the best to be around after a long day. He was quiet and gentler than Virgil expected. He seemed to know exactly whether or not someone needed to be left alone for a bit, or when they needed someone to sit down next to them, set a laptop down in front of them, and spend the night binge-watching Criminal Minds. He was a homebody, for certain, but while the others sometimes had to drag him out of the room to go do something social, he was the one reminding them to go to bed at decent hours, get to class on time, and maybe eat healthier every once in a while. 

Patton ran deeper than just a happy exterior. He was sensitive and caring and accepting, and sometimes Virgil swore that Patton could make friends with a brick wall if he put his mind to it. He never once mentioned soulmates around Virgil, and it almost seemed like he could tell Virgil was uncomfortable before Virgil himself could, and would immediately change topics of conversation if he knew it was going towards a touchy subject. He also stayed well out of Virgil’s personal space, and around Patton, Virgil always felt safe. 

Roman was wildly passionate about everything he did. It didn’t matter if he was crafting a brilliant story for a three-part book series in his mind or planning a date for the other two, he threw himself into it completely and didn’t put it down until it was perfect. He loved his soulmates fiercely, anyone with eyes could see that, and even though he didn’t know, sometimes Virgil swore he looked at him the same way he looked at Logan and Patton. 

Virgil wanted the three of them more than he’d wanted anything in his life. He wanted to accept that he was the last piece in their unfinished puzzle, to be known and cared for and loved, and to do his best to protect the three of them from anything that could harm them. He wanted to cling to them and never have to let go, to have them in his life forever. 

But doubt always crept in. In the back of his mind, the photos from his parents’ wedding day, the two of them smiling brightly and looking at each other like the whole world was standing in front of them, haunted him. He knew that a few wrong turns could mean losing your way entirely, leading to a lifetime of screaming at each other until your throat is sore and sleeping on the couch behind slammed doors. He remembered the way Remy’s face changed, the way he suddenly fell in love with a boy just because some mark told him he was supposed to. 

Virgil had told them he was markless already. What would they do if they found out he lied to them? Lied to them, and knew all along that the little purple cloud on each of their palms belonged to him, and never said a word about it. They’d hate him, for sure. 

“But if you must know, I’m texting brother dearest.” Roman continued, and Virgil blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. “And he’s got some news.” 

“He finally killed a man and needs your help to hide the body.” Logan deadpanned, and Patton snorted. 

“Wouldn’t put it past him, but no,” Roman said, and turned his phone around to face the three of them. “Check it out.” 

Virgil leaned forward slightly to see the picture better. He’d seen a couple of pictures of Roman’s twin brother before, so he could easily identify Remus. He looked like what would happen if Roman cloned himself, but the clone came out slightly wrong -- his eyes were almost sunken in, his hair looked like he never brushed it, he had the thin start of a mustache on his upper lip, and he almost always seemed to have a smudge of dirt somewhere on his face. Who Virgil didn’t recognize, however, was the person in the picture with him. The second person had green eyes that felt colder than Roman’s or Remus’, and the small smirk on his face made him look like he was secretly scheming while the picture was being taken. The right side of his face was covered in blotchy, pale pink burn scars, but it didn’t seem like he was trying to do anything to hide them. 

“Who’s that?” Patton asked, and Roman’s face broke into a sad sort of grin. 

“That would be Remus’ soulmate.” He said, and Patton immediately squealed and scooted closer to see the picture better. “He says his name is Janus.” 

“What’s wrong with him?” Logan asked, raising an amused eyebrow. "If he's Remus' soulmate, something must be wrong with him." 

“Apparently, he has a pet corn snake to match Remus’ weird choice in keeping a pet rat, so there’s that,” Roman said, and let Patton take his phone. “Remus met him in class earlier. This guy got into a heated debate with a professor about society being the root of all evil and how capitalism fuels that evil. Remus says they got into a conversation after class about burning the government to the ground.” 

Virgil whistled. 

“Sounds perfect for your brother, if all the stories you’ve told me are true.” 

“I know, right?” Roman said, but the usual shine to his smile was gone. As Virgil watched, Roman gently started to rub his thumb over his palm, right where Virgil’s purple mark sat. He stared at his hand with a sort of far-away look, and Virgil felt yet another pang in his chest. 

Patton had noticed too, as soon as he handed the phone to Logan to let him have a better look. Patton scooted closer to Roman and rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Ro?” 

Roman blinked and looked up only to find all three pairs of eyes on him. 

“Oh. I’m fine, don’t worry about it--” 

“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” Logan said, and closed his textbook, setting it down on the floor next to him. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s--” Roman started, but cut himself off at the frown that came over Logan’s face. Virgil could guess what was going through Roman’s mind at that look -- Logan was allergic to emotions, sure, but he always seemed to know when someone was lying to him about theirs. “I don’t know. I just want to know when they’re going to show up.” 

Virgil’s lungs constricted in his chest. 

“Oh, honey,” Patton said, far too softly to make Virgil feel any less sick. “They’ll turn up someday, you know that. We all found each other, didn’t we?” 

“But we haven’t,” Roman said. “Not yet, anyway. We’re still missing someone.” 

Virgil suddenly felt a pair of eyes on him. He looked in Logan’s direction, and by the time they would have locked eyes, Logan was looking at Roman. Sure, Virgil’s peripheral vision had a bad habit of making him see things that weren’t there, but those were always strange shadows in the dark. This wasn’t a shadow. 

Logan had been staring right at him. 

Virgil stood up from his place on his bed and awkwardly cleared his throat. 

“I’ll just go, while you guys do your, uh...soulmate. Thing.” He said and picked up his textbook. He didn’t wait for any of them to object or respond at all. He made a beeline for the door, and it only felt like he could breathe again when he shut it behind him. 

He leaned his head back against the door. He could have told them. He could have told them right then and watched Roman’s worry turn into joy. He could have told them that their missing piece was right there, and they didn’t need to worry, because they had already found him. 

But that was exactly the problem. Their missing piece had been right there, this whole time, too choked by fear to say anything. 

Virgil clutched his book tightly to his chest and started down the hall towards one of the quiet rooms. 

***

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t  _ breathe _ \--

Virgil slammed the door to his room shut behind him, and as if one door wasn’t enough between him and the others, he immediately went into the small bathroom he and Logan shared, and locked that door behind him. He leaned his back against the wall and slid down to the floor, his knees pulled to his chest and his heart rate elevating. 

He’d been careless for one day, and that was all it had taken. 

Summer vacation was right around the corner, and the weather had decided to get ahead of the game and throw the entire campus into a heatwave. Between keeping his soulmark completely hidden with long sleeves and suffering through heatstroke, Virgil, unfortunately, knew which one he was going to pick. T-shirts kept the soulmark on his shoulder hidden enough, anyway. The short sleeves covered it up just fine from most angles, and when Virgil was being careful. 

He’d gotten too comfortable. Sitting outside under the desperately-needed shade of a tree, he and Logan had been listening to music while Patton and Roman kept themselves busy with a game of frisbee that Roman was winning. Virgil had let himself relax, for once. His finals were over. Logan had a few more, and so did Patton, but as for him, he was done. He’d stretched his arms above his head right as Roman was coming back over to grab some water. He said something about a bug being on Virgil’s shoulder, and Virgil hadn’t realized what he was seeing until Roman smacked his shoulder, and perfectly lined up their soulmarks. 

The confusion turned to realization across Roman’s face, and Virgil’s fight-or-flight reflexes kicked in before he even knew what was happening. He bolted back to the room, ignoring Roman calling after him, soon to be joined by Logan and Patton, and now, here he was. Sitting on the cold tile floor of a bathroom feeling several panic attacks coming on. 

He couldn’t hide it now. Sure, maybe Roman thought it was a bug at a first casual glance, but there was no mistaking a soulmark for anything else once it was spotted. Especially when it was his own. 

He could hear the door to the room opening, and he immediately buried his face in his arms. Of course, they’d know where he was, he came to the most obvious hiding place imaginable. Great job thinking ahead. 

“Virgil?” Logan’s voice was gentler than usual on the other side of the bathroom door, and it made Virgil cringe. There it was. Already being looked at differently. “I know you’re in there, Virgil, please let us in.” 

“No.” 

“We just want to talk--” 

“Well, I don’t,” Virgil said and lifted his head from his arms. “I don’t have anything to talk about.” 

“Nothing to talk about? I  _ saw _ the soulmark!” Roman said, and great. The whole gang was there. Virgil could only assume that Patton was with them, too. Fantastic. “You’ve been our soulmate this whole time, and you think we have nothing to talk about?” 

“Nothing that I want to talk about, princey.” Virgil snapped. “Just go away.” 

“We’re not going to go away,” Patton said. “We need to talk about it, Virgil, you can’t just--” 

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do, Patton.” 

“I just want to know why you didn’t say anything!” Patton said, and his voice sounded strained, like he was about to cry, and didn’t that just make Virgil want to throw himself off the nearest bridge. He was making Patton cry. “Is it us? Did we do something wrong?” 

“No, you…” Virgil threw his head back against the door, frustrated. “You didn’t do anything, I just don’t--” 

He cut himself off as the words suddenly stuck in his throat.  _ I don’t want this. _ He’d said it before, so many times. He didn’t want soulmates. He hadn’t wanted soulmates a day in his life, and pretty much everyone who had ever met him knew it. 

So why did saying those words now feel like some sort of sick lie? 

“Virgil.” Logan’s voice spoke up. “I knew.” 

Well. Those words sent a spear right through Virgil’s heart, and it was a good thing he was in the bathroom already because he honestly could not tell if he wanted to throw up or start crying. 

“What?” Roman asked, stealing the same question right out of Virgil’s head. “You knew he was our soulmate? When? How?” 

“I’ve been suspicious since the first day,” Logan said. “Sure, he could have been looking at my soulmark because he was jealous, but it wasn’t jealousy or awe. You looked at it with sheer dread, Virgil, and that felt strange from the start. Combine it with the fact that you were always very careful to hide your palms when you had to take your gloves off around me, and how you refused to let any of us touch you in any way, and the pieces fell together.” 

“And you didn’t tell us this, why?” Patton asked. 

“I figured it was not my secret to tell,” Logan said. “If Virgil didn’t want us to know, he had a reason. I assumed he would tell us when he was ready.” 

“I’m not ready.” Virgil blurted. “And I’m never going to be ready, so you can just go away and we’ll all pretend this never happened.” 

“Why wouldn’t you want to tell us?” Patton persisted. “We care about you, Virgil, did you think we would reject you?” 

“No,” Virgil said, and his voice felt bitter. “Opposite, actually.” 

“You were afraid we would want you?” Roman asked. “I’m...okay, I’m confused. That’s the whole point of a soulmate, why--” 

“Because I don’t like being treated differently just because of some stupid mark, okay?” Virgil blurted, and with those words, it felt as though some lock that Virgil didn’t even realize was in his chest was broken, and words came spilling out before he could stop them. “Watching people meet each other and immediately check for soulmarks makes me want to throw up. I don’t want someone to just see I have a stupid shield on my shoulder and just be with me because the universe thinks it’s meant to be! If you only go by the marks, in ten years, you’re going to fall apart and hate each other and spend the rest of your life stuck in a house with someone you never even loved in the first place, and hooray, you’ve given your kid a front-row seat to the whole show!” 

There was silence on the other side of the door when Virgil finally took a second to breathe. His chest felt hollow with every breath, and as he came back to his senses, he realized that his eyes were brimming with tears. He glanced over at his shoulder, and gingerly lifted his shirt sleeve to see the red soulmark innocently sitting there. 

“I never asked for this.” He said, his voice quiet. “If I’m going to be loved, I want to be loved for real.” 

The silence persisted, and for a second, Virgil had to wonder if the three of them had left. Maybe they finally realized with that final outburst that Virgil wasn’t worth it. He carried baggage that wasn’t even his, and the three of them had been going for so long with nothing to drag them down, he doubted they would want any weight now. 

Just then, though, a phone slid in through the tiny crack between the door and the floor. It was Roman’s, given the red and gold sparkling case. 

“You need to see something.” Roman’s voice was softer than Virgil had ever heard it before. 

Virgil hesitated but cautiously picked up the phone. The screen was open to what looked like a group chat between the three others, and Roman had scrolled back to their texts at the beginning of the year. 

okay so what the actual hell, lo

L: ??

you weren’t gonna warn us that your roommate is g o r g e o u s???

L: i did not think it mattered

OF COURSE IT MATTERS WTF

HE’S SO PRETTY I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE

pattycakes <3: seconded!!! 

pattycakes <3: except for the dying part

i refuse to believe a person that pretty does not have soulmates

the universe is truly a heartless bitch

pattycakes <3: i think he seems nice

L: please don’t scare him away with any of your grand romantic gestures

L: keep in mind that i’ll be living with him

L: and i rather like him and would prefer it if he did not hate me

i make no such promise

L: he’s made it very clear he doesn’t mind not having soulmates, roman

L: do not make it your mission to change that

fiiiiiiiiine

buzzkill

sue me for having hope that he was our 4th

pattycakes <3: that would’ve been amazing

“I care about the mark, I can’t lie about that.” Roman’s voice spoke up again. “I’ve always loved it. The idea of the universe choosing people that are meant for you, I’ve always thought it was beautiful.” 

Virgil felt like his head was swimming. 

“But the marks...you’re right. They’re not everything.” He continued. “Tell you the truth, I was kind of pissed when you said you didn’t have one. I wanted you to be our missing piece so, so badly, with or without any mark.” 

“You’re amazing, V.” Patton piped up. “You always joke that you’re afraid of everything and then some, but you’re always the first to try and protect everyone. Remember when Roman and Logan were busy in class and a spider showed up in our room? The second I called you, you helped me get rid of it, even though you hated it as much as I did.” 

“Spiders aren’t so bad to me--” Virgil started. 

“But they are to me, and you didn’t waste any time to come help,” Patton said. 

“You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for,” Logan said. “You dim your lights at exactly eleven o’clock every single night even without me asking, because you know I’ll be going to bed. When we went shopping for some extra snacks for the room, you picked up cough drops because you knew Roman was going to kill his throat practicing for his vocal finals. Whenever you went home to visit, you’d avoid Patton whenever you came back because the cat fur left on your clothes made him sniffly. You pick up the little things about people, and you care for them.” 

“We don’t care whether or not you have a mark, Virgil,” Roman said. 

“We care about you because you’re  _ you. _ ” Patton finished. 

Virgil’s breathing still felt shallow, but his chest didn’t feel so hollow anymore. The pang of longing was back again, but this time, it felt more like a pull. A pull that made him reach up and unlock the door to the bathroom, and finally, finally, let the three of them past the barriers he’d painstakingly put up over nineteen years. 

The door pushed open, and while Patton was the first through the door, he hesitated, just slightly. 

“Can I hug you?” 

Virgil realized there was nothing else he wanted more at that moment.

He nodded as Roman and Logan came in through the door, and Patton didn’t waste another second before he got down on the floor in front of Virgil and threw his arms around him. Virgil didn’t even have to check to know where Patton’s hand landed -- right over the little heart at the small of his back. 

Patton’s arms were warm. He hugged Virgil just tight enough to make Virgil feel held, but not so tight that he felt trapped. It wasn’t long before a second pair of arms wrapped around him, strong and certain, and then a third pair, clearly inexperienced but still caring. Virgil let himself bury his face into Patton’s shoulder, and let the tears that had been brimming in his eyes spill over. The three of them didn’t say anything, they just let him cry, and they kept him safely cocooned in their arms, hidden from the outside world. 

They must have been a strange sight. Four soulmates hugging each other tightly on the floor of a dorm bathroom while one of them cries, and none of them are sure if the one is crying out of joy, or out of sadness for having waited this long to let himself be loved. 

And Virgil realized when Roman pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, Patton squeezed him gently, and Logan brushed the tears he could see off of Virgil’s cheeks -- he didn’t care. 

He hoped they never had to let go.    


**Author's Note:**

> this got way longer than i was expecting it to lol
> 
> merry christmas to AcornScorns on tumblr! hope you like it!


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